My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I'm at about main and main street
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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