Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize