I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
