she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
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