is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Randomize
