how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
