I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
