now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize
