Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
