Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Randomize
