we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
