i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Randomize