He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Randomize
