new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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