I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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