Christians are straight up FREAKS
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Randomize
