I didn't shave. On purpose
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
