Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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