I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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