I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
