Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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