drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
