i love accidental penises.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
