He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Randomize
