she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
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