Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
