now i know why i became what i already was.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Randomize
