we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
