How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
