I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Randomize
