Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
