God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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