hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Randomize
