Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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