there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
