sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
