The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
It's never too late to be topless.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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