if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
