Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Randomize
