at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
