i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Randomize
