is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Randomize
