I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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