a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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