I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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