Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I don't deserve a penis
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
