"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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