I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
