Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
