Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
