I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
