Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
