You're a womanizer and a bitch.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
