I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Randomize