He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
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