She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize