She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
