some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
