they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
my liver is dry heaving
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Randomize
